4.18.2014

I.eat.meat.


Said just like Jim Halpert said while mimicking Dwight K. Shrute saying, "Bears.Beets.Battlestar Galatica." 

Don't get me wrong, I am not a meat loooover. But I eat it. 

I didn't always eat it. I was kinda grossed out by hamburger in ninth through twelfth grades because my biology teacher showed me meat with worms in it one day. 

I am pretty sure my mom appreciated that as I ranted and raved about how disgusting meat was, hamburger in particular {and I seemed to be a little more okay with small chunks of it opposed to slabs of it in a hamburger per se}. But somehow, I got over it {I think because my mom convinced me that to run well, I needed protein}. 

Anyway, I still feel a little bit badly for the little animals who die so I can run fast. ;) But I try to forget about it. 

Unless I cannot forget about it because the TV show I am watching is saying how horrible meat eaters are. And how we should all be Vegan. 

But then I feel better when a random man rebukes this we.must.all.be.vegans. theory by saying, "There are many animals in this life that have very, very happy lives, but just have had one bad day." 

And then I laugh and realize I can and will eat meat. 

And then I also am reminded of the commercials I see on the television set about poor little animals, with Sarah Mclaclan singing in the background. And I want to donate all my monies to them. 

But then I pontificate, "How on this green earth could I ever justify saving an adorable little animal's life when there is a HUMANlife over in Africa I could be saving instead?" 

Humans.trump.animals. 

Also said like Dwight K. Shrute says, "Bears.eat.beets. Bears.beets.Battle Star Galatica." 

And then that reminds me of how in my high school psychology class with Como, he told a horrific story about little monkeys being used to test out infant and toddler car seats. Como would say how the poor little monkeys sometimes would be thrashedinto walls in defected car seats. 

In my grown-up years, I wonder if this story is even true. 

Buuut in my high school years, particularly and only on the day he told me this story, I about shed a tear in the horrific treatment of animals. But then Como said, "Some of you are feeling pretty badly for the monkeys right now, and that is understandable. But I say if that is going to save my child's life - kill all the monkeys you want.

I learned then that Como felt the same why I did also. Humans.trump.animals. 

And I hope it goes without saying that humans clearly trump aliens too ... Especially ones that want to kill humans. Oh, and plants too. Humans definitely trump plants. 

And then I think, "Why do we spell monkeys M-O-N-K-E-Y-S instead of M-O-N-K-I-E-S"?

But back to those commercials about little animals suffering ... if I could get a kitten that would stay a kitten, I would. But alas, they grow up and ... are no longer kittens. And I don't want a cat. I want a kitten. 

And that makes me think of how one day I maimed a cat once. I could just cry thinking about it. So I will stop. And I will stop writing this post because I have chocolate milk that needs to be drank.

Happy Friday people,!!!

___

Original post date: April 11, 2011.

4.17.2014

May the odds ever be in your favor ...



I like odds. And statistics. Well, not really statistics. Does anyone like statistics besides statisticians? 
I found the following odds ever so pleasing. 

You have a one in 6,000 chance of injuring yourself every time you shave.

Your odds of becoming a professional athlete are the same as the odds of your parachute not opening up while skydiving.

Your odds of winning the lotto are the same as meeting and befriending George Clooney.

If you are between the ages of 20-30 you have an 86% chance of getting married.

If you are between the ages of 30-40 you have a 74% chance of getting married.

If you are in your 40's you have a 40% chance of getting married.

If you are in your 50's and single, you are more likely to be attacked by a terrorist than get married.

If you are a girl and have a close guy friend, he is twice as more likely to fall for you and want to date you than you are to fall for and want to date him.

And most importantly ... you have a one in 10,000 chance of being injured by your toilet.

Have any of you actually been injured by your toilet? If so, the rest of us are dying to know, so please share!

My apologies to anyone out there who thought this post was going to be about The Hunger Games. I hear the odds of surviving that are one in 24 ... unless your name is Katniss.

And with that, I am outta here. 

___

Original post date: April 29, 2009

4.16.2014

Want to win ALL the things?


In this case, ALL the things are dollahs, 180 of them!

And it is ANY WAY YOU want it!

Go get 'em, Tiger.

4.15.2014

I'm tall. Many men are short.


Yo, people.

I feel like I live in da 'hood when I say the word yo. I like feeling cultured. ;)

I have been kinda swamped lately. With illness. With finding a new place to live. With my hardest class of grad school yet. With my little heart being broken. 

All of those things make it difficult to upkeep this little bugger. So I am going to give myself a little break this week ... by posting some of my {and my readers} favorite posts of all time. Most of 'em will be oldies, so had I not told you they were re-posts, you would have never known. ;)

Today's post is brought to you by the number seven and the letter M and by January 12, 2009.

I hope you enjoy. :)

Just in case you didn't know ... I am taller than all of these men.


Hopes and dreams of being a leading actress? Shattered ... unless we get some more Peeta & Katiness action going on {not the part where they kill other humans, rather it is blatantly obvious that she is taller than he}.

I am roughly the same height as these ones.


However, these dudes are taller!


Two words to describe Tom Welling: hubba, hubba! 

Vince Vaughan on the other hand, I can only imagine him as the keeler in Domestic Disturbance {which, ironically, John Travolta was also in}.

This is where 5'11" gets you in Hollywood, which is no where, in case you were also wondering.

___

P.S. It is tax day and I paid my taxes months ago. I am going to go add that to my 101 Most Shocking Moments list of 2014 right now. 

4.09.2014

Party Poopers


I probably have a variation of the word "poop" on my blog entirely too frequently.

But that is beside the point.

The point is this. I pulled up into my parking spot at work yesterday {no, we don't have assigned spots, but that is the perk of being the first employee there}. And I saw this.


Now, most of you are probably thinking, "Yeah, a dumpy, misplaced shopping cart?"

Oh, how little ye know.

I saw a ride like unto the amasing Teacups at Disneyland! Because I knew shopping carts do so much more than carry groceries. 

They can carry Mindy!


I asked my co-workers {via Instagram and FB} if any of them wanted to create this? And do you know what they ALL said? I mean, re-look at the title of this post.

All of those party poopers said NO!!!!!!!!!!!

Although, one co-worker offered his mother {who is also my co-worker} as tribute. And I accepted. 

Yet. I still haven't gotten into said shopping cart.

Sigh.

Do I have any takers in the great big void of the world wide web out there? Lemme know. 

4.08.2014

Hello, world. Goodbye dentist.


I feel like I have been away for awhile. A post here. A post there.

A lot has been going on lately. My most difficult class of grad school yet, autoimmune failure and being forced to find a new place to live in 2.5 weeks aren't even all of it. I guess I am just trying to decide what I am willing to share with, ya know, the world.  And because I hadn't {and still haven't} decided, I feel a tad withdrawn and quiet.

But today! Today I have something that there is no question if it is shareable or not.

Guys, I had my biannual anxiety attack dentist appointment. 


P.S. Cute shoes do not make you hate the dentist less. 

While waiting for a stranger's hands to play inside my mouth with metal contraptions, I had several thoughts.

+ Why can't we drop our teeth off at the dentist like we drop our clothes off at the dry cleaners?

+ The only good thing about going to the dentist is leaving the dentist

+ I was almost going to say the free pink toothbrush I got when I left {and I didn't even request pink!} was a perk, but then I realized I would rather spend three dollah and buy my own toothbrush that have a stranger play in my mouths with metal contraptions. 

What can I say? I am an antidentite

And it must be said, I text my friend Dennis the dentist each time I go to the dentist and tell him how much I want to die. Yeah, he has that to look forward to for the REST.OF.HIS.LIFE.

And to top it off, after I went to the dentist, I went to the post office. 

Whoa. Too much crazy for one day. 

The only way my post-work afternoon could have been worse is if I went to the bank. Because I hate going to the bank. 

But enough about how much I hate the dentist. Feel free to tell me how much you hate going to the dentist. But really, proceed to the comments section and tell me. 

___

I hate the going to the dentist. Have I expressed that enough today? If not, go here and here

4.03.2014

Ch-ch-changes!


"People are always telling you that change is a good thing. But all they're really saying is that something you didn't want to happen at all... has happened. " - You've Got Mail

I have never really been one for change. 

But change doesn't care if you are for it or not. It just does what it wants, when it wants.

Like when you are on vacation {like I currently am} or already overwhelmed with grad school while on vacation {which I currently am}. 

I need to find a new place to live. ASAP.

This is a plea to anyone in the Logan area who knows someone who needs a roommate or a one-bedroom residence available in May{ish}. 

Thanks in advance. :) I am confident y'all will take care of me. :)

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